Reader, I married him

 "Reader, I married him."

 A captivating sentence from "Jane Eyre", by Charlotte Bronte. When I completed the book, I wanted to print it and stick it on the most conspicuous niche in my room. As our wedding anniversary is nearing, I thought I will remind my husband of our 13th anniversary by getting a customized mug with this quote and gift it to - my husband? to me? or to us? When I was probing deep into my brain for answers to this question, another question arose from some curious corner of my brain. Who is special among us,  him or me? In the above sentence, grammatically, who is the subject and who is the object? Which pronoun seems important in the sentence- I or him? Does it magnify one and belittle the other? If so, which one of the pronouns trivializes the other? 

I started off with a systematic approach-

(The argument is applicable only till the date of our wedding)

First scenario- Let me fancy that 'I''' am more virtuous than 'him' and he must be privileged to have me as his wife.  

I married him. I, who was appreciated for intelligence and beauty; who had earned a merit seat into medicine all at her own accord; who had quite some fan followers; who was stalked by school drop-outs; who was well known in the family for academic achievements; who felt independent; who aimed high; who was passionate about life; who rebelled for her principles; who felt that she is born to do something great; who assumed that she is good-hearted; who believed that she can do anything for love(this is absolutely true even now), such an 'I' married him. Let me elaborate the 'him' here. He, who was not so rich; who was still in my own class, uncertain of the future; who had a long way to go to settle in life; who was judged to be quite egoistic by my friends; who seemed a little coquettish to me; who always sneaked a meeting with me; who kept his love for me a secret from everyone else as long as possible; who would hesitate to go for tea with me to the library canteen lest we be noticed; who didn't seem to be proud at all about me; who stuck to the conventional rules of the society; who forgot a date with me; who took me to a crowded canteen for our first lunch; whom I had to miserably plead to talk to my father when we had to reveal it to him and he had to announce his commitment- I married such a 'him.'


Second scenario- Let me now surmise that he is more meritorious than me and I am blessed to marry him. 

i married HIM. He, who was handsome with an innocent countenance; who undoubtedly appeared trustworthy; who held promise to a bright life; who emanated charm; who was a teetotaler; who was intelligent; who was always right; whose speeches were just spellbinding; who was generous beyond limit; whom I just loved like crazy; such HE married me. The 'i' here is a different version again- i, who was poorer than him; who was overtly possessive; whose temper was short; who was a little overweight for a guy's expectations; who dressed shabbily; who wore big glasses; who had actually nothing much to offer, whose assets were still in the brain and nothing at hand- i married HIM.

Both the above arguments, though true, are sounding incoherent. I felt that it doesn't make sense in emphasizing one word and ignoring the other. The sentence doesn't exist without 'I' or 'Him'. Putting the thought in brighter light and reading it in a sweeter tone would be- 

I married him. We, who had roamed the  entire Bangalore on his bike;  we,  who had relished eating masala mandakki on the benches of parks lost in each other's company; we, who had struggled to budget a movie and a meal on Sundays; we,  who had studied together;  he,  who had declared his love for me to the entire city by dedicating songs on FM; I, who was passionately in love with him and whose only asset was love and He, who was crazily in love with me and his only asset at that time was trust- we married each other to start a promising adventure called-' married life'. 

Needless to say that wedding is just the prologue. The story starts after that. In the past 13 yrs,  his ego,  my ire,  his generosity,  my practicality,  his procrastination, my impatience, his conservative attitude,  my defiance, his lassitude,  my vigour, his maturity and my lesser maturity- all have been gelled together inseparably by the strongest bond of existence- love.  Our choices have been different most of the times- he likes sweets,  I savour spices,  he keeps browsing through sports and news channels, I stick to Romedy,  his new shirts accumulate dust for years in the closet, my new dresses are on me the next day after I buy them,  he loves flowers,  I love foliage,  he loves grey shades,  I go for vibrant colours,  I like to venture out things on my own,  he prefers to trod the easier path,  so on and so forth.  But we are tied together by the strong thread of love, responsibility and rationality. 

With all these arguments,  I conclude that in the sentence - 'I married him',  the word 'married' justifiably balances the assertion. The fact that a story lies behind and within that word is to be understood by experience and cherished with affection.

Reader,  I married him. 

26/08/2020

Finally,  when I showed this blog to my husband on our anniversary,  he commented that the write-up was really good,  but ends abruptly.  Then I feel,  we are still in the process of being written, the story of our marriage is still going on.  What I wrote was all about marriage as declared by Jane Eyre in that particular sentence.  When I need to talk about love, one blog will never be enough.  It will be lengthy and might lull the reader into deep slumber.  For me,  love is spontaneous,  inevitable,  unplanned,  it extends beyond the boundaries of marriage. Marriage follows a lot of rationality.  Only few people are blessed to marry the person they love.  I am privileged to be one of them.  

30/08/2020

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