An appeal to the textile researchers...

While the world is consumed by the Covid pandemic, while our country is curious about Sushant's suicide,  demolition of Kangana's office and allegations against Uddhav Thackaray,  I am constantly disturbed by one observation that no one seems to have noticed.  There are lot of conspiracy theories against China regarding the origin of Corona virus, rumours still questioning the existence of the evident virus,  researches to identify the magic drug to kill the virus and vaccine trials to prevent the disease and uplift the spirits of the corona phobic individuals. One aspect that seems to be missing from all the social media is the effect of corona on the quality of the fabric that we wear.  

I am not referring to the new clothes that we buy online as part of online shopping spree.  I have made a hideous observation that the clothes that we have been wearing since few years and those which have been decorating our wardrobes, seem to be shrinking with the outbreak of Covid 19!!! I hope that it is not just my individual observation.  To make sure that I am not hallucinating over this,  I enquired some of my friends who also agreed with  me.  There can't be a mass schizophrenia outbreak. 

 

I have been preoccupied by this query since many days. Yet, I am not getting enough time to analyse it systematically.  All the dresses that I would comfortably fit in for all these years are not accommodating me anymore. Everyday,  I find that my dresses are rebelling against me. I have known that fabrics,  especially cotton ones shrink during their first wash.  But I can't rationalise that they continue to shrink with every wash.  Could it be because I am wearing the same few  clothes more often and washing them more frequently.  Still,  the synthetic ones which are not supposed to shrink are shriveling too.  I have made yet another observation that the more I am staying home,  the more they are shrinking.

My deep analysis into this revelation with charts and arrow diagrams has not been possible as I have been kept busy by lot of other chores when I am home.  As my kids don't have school and my work at office is also less, I get up late in the morning. I have to have an extra large mug of creamy coffee to stimulate my mood.  I have been unable to  go for a walk or exercise as all the motivation that I have is utilised in cooking extensively for my kids. The menu at our house everyday is filled with dishes like aloo parantha with butter,  paneer curries, cheese macaroni, cheese sandwiches with extra cheese,  few fried snacks in the evening and roasted dried fruits to munch in between. I don't cook for myself,  but I do keep nibbling whatever I cook just to titrate salt and sugar.  I do end up eating whatever little is remaining so that it doesn't get wasted. My kitchen devours my time to a large extent followed by occasional naps in the afternoon. As a result, I am unable to take out the extra time to research on the aberrant behaviour of my clothes.  

One day, I finally sat down with pen and paper to jot down my observations regarding the shrinking of clothes. I had plans of doing a study and proposing the textile industry research wing to look into the matter. As I had just put my pen on the paper, I got a promotional call from a near by gym. I bluntly declined her offer. But that reminded me of my old friend at the gym who was a health freak. I called her to know what she was upto in this weird situation. She explained to me that she had been working out more rigorously than before, she was adhering  to a strict diet plan and felt really healthy. I hesitantly broached the topic of my observation regarding the shrinking clothes and asked her whether she had similar experience. To my surprise, she did; but in an idiosyncratic way. Her clothes were expanding rather than shrinking. This confounded my confusion, but also gave me a strong reason to write to the textile researchers. I was convinced far beyond doubt that this needed a thorough investigation. I had finally discovered something in my life. I had become a scientist. My name will now be listed amongst inventors and discoverers. Who is to limit the expanse of one's fantasies? Eureka!!!

I bent my brain in all possible directions, I thought over many glasses of coffee and finally came to the following conclusion- Corona virus not only affects humans, it affects clothes too in an unpredictable way. The virus shrinks few clothes and expands a few. This effect of shrinking and expanding doesn't depend on the type of the fabric. It affects both cotton, synthetic, silk, linen, all types of fabrics in both the ways. The only possible explanation could be that since the thread used to sew all types of fabrics is same, corona virus must be altering the dead genes in the thread. Since the virus is derived from the genes of bat and snake, and it affects humans, the possibility that it infects dead plant fibres cannot be ruled out. As a result, I appeal to the textile researchers to study in detail on this peculiar behaviour of the virus. 

Note: Those of you who have had similar experience can write back to me so that we can collectively instigate an immediate investigation into this grievous affair.